Barsexuality is the new black.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
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