Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
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