I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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