I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
