I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I understand Curling. That high.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
