i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
