Soap is not a condiment
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
