actually, I'm a sock model
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
