it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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