It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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