I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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