Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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