You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Randomize
