you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Randomize
