fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
