porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
