just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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