we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
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Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
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Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
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