I think i peed on brittanys purse
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
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