1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
time to smoke my breakfast
areolas are like halos for boobs.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
