We got so high we made milksteak
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
