just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
