my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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