Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize