You were right. It hurts to walk today.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
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I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
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I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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