I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
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It's official drugs can't kill me
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Randomize