Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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