YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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