Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Randomize
