How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
