Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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