I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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