We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
