and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Randomize
