Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
