We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
After last night, I could never be a politician.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
