i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
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