everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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