she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
