he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
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like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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