ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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