just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
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