I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
