And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
