someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Randomize
