Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
