If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
She bit a glass in half.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
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