id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
