i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.