i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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