I just pynch a tree in the face
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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