I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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