Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
