great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
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