Got a toothbrush?
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Randomize