He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
