D3 body, D1 cock
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Randomize
