im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
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